Perhaps it’s just a cigar?

I’m still reading “The Head Trip,” a book about various mental states, mostly about sleeping. So there’s a lot of dream stuff in there.

I’ve been trying to move from vivid dreams that I remember when I wake up to actually going lucid in the dreams. It’s getting frustrating. I guess the difference isn’t to WANT to have a lucid dream, the difference is to KNOW you’ll do it.

Or, as Yoda put it, “do or do not; there is no try.”

So on Friday night I had a pretty vivid dream. I was Iron Man… or at least I was Tony Stark. Well, some of the time – I was with him at other points in the dream. Anyway, some arch-villain was after me, I was getting away, so he unleashed an Iron Man-meets-I, Robot automaton on me, called “The Doctor.” It was blue and white. It was scary fast and I was suddenly onboard an aircraft carrier, running through tight spaces and climbing nimbly up various piping around the ship. When I finally thought I got rid of him, he popped out of a manhole cover-looking thing and I warned Tony that it was back and it tackled me… then I flew up and out of the ship (there was suddenly a large opening in the roof).

The cool thing was that it was a very vivid dream. The not-so-cool thing is that this was a phenomenal opportunity for lucidity and I missed it.

I think part of the issue is that I don’t have specific goals for lucidity. Most people, apparently, have specific sexual escapades as their goal. Which could be fun. Apparently most men ejaculate in their lucid sex dreams but not at their real bodies back in reality. And most women might have increased vaginal blood flow, but won’t have a real orgasm in real life, similar to men. But in the lucid dream, it’s full-on a heavily erotic, very fulfilling orgasm.

I wouldn’t know. šŸ™

Other goals involve investigating nightmares, personal trauma, talking to dead relatives, and even learning new things – like practicing piano or guitar in your dream. I don’t have any of these goals. Which could be a gating issue, so perhaps I should work up an agenda for my lucidity.

Saturday saw a return of a vivid dream that I remembered a lot about, but it faded fast. And so let’s pull in the title of this post (yes, Virginia, there is a point). The part I still remember is that I was out in the wilderness, walking around by myself. I kept thinking that it was stupid to go out in the woods alone. Really stupid. The thought plagued me.

Suddenly, I was at a shack in a high desert and there was a fence around the property (several acres at least). It was very dry with sparse vegetation. So I started to walk around and I found a gate, which led to a gated-in walkway that went up a hill. I went down a little way and realized, again, that I was alone and going out alone was a really stupid idea. I could see what I thought was the exit up ahead. So I turned around, and I saw 2 wolves outside the fence.

Let’s pause to consider.

2 wolves at the gate, snapping and snarling, trying to get at me. I see the symbolism, duh, but I don’t see where it applies in my day-to-day life. So is this just a case of “sometimes a cigar is just a cigar?” The wolves were small, by the way. In case that’s important.

Perhaps my next action is telling: I had no fear; then I had the sudden urge to go over and kick them in the teeth, as if to say, “you can’t get me, try as you might.” Like I’d totally kick wolves in the teeth in the real world! Instead, I simply walked back towards the shack and then the dream was over.

Perhaps the shack being alone and isolated by a fence is a giant metaphor. Perhaps it’s just a cigar (I was just visiting, after all). Perhaps the fact that I refused to leave the fenced-in area is a not-so-subtle metaphor. Perhaps it’s just a cigar. Perhaps that the wolves were small and I was unafraid of them was also another obvious metaphor. Perhaps (say it say it say it) a cigar is just a cigar (OMG he said it again! Shut up, already).

And what about that Iron Man dream? I don’t see the metaphor as clearly there, though I could scrounge up something if I were writing a paper on it. But I’m not. So fuck off.