Steve Husted – warrior poet?

Sometimes it hurts when I look
When I ponder

Sometimes I decide in advance
When to gander

Sometimes it’s me in the shell
When it’s snowy

Sometimes it’s meant to be
When it’s painful

Sometimes I fake what I like
When I’m honest

Sometimes I’m honest with you
When I’m fake

Sometimes I hate being me
When disingenuous

Sometimes I hate you
When I love you

I look around

Nobody’s home

I look inside

I’m not here

I peer around

I pretend not to see

I dig into myself

I fake it with all I’ve got

I take inventory

And decide it’s not worth the gamble

I study myself

I figure I’m all alone

I peer listlessly

Into the void

Fuck!

Damn it!

Fuck!

Damn it!

Fuck!

Damn it!

Fuck!

Damn it!

Fuck!

Damn it!

Fuck!

Damn it!

Fuck!

Damn it!

Fuck!

Damn it!

Fuck!

Damn it!

Fuck!

Damn it!

Fuck!

Damn it!

Fuck!

Damn it!

Fuck!

Damn it!

Fuck!

Damn it!

Fuck!

Damn it!

Fuck!

Damn it!

Fuck!

Damn it!

Fuck!

Damn it!

Fuck!

Damn it!

Fuck!

Damn it!

Fuck!

Damn it!

Fuck!

Damn it!

And now I’m done.

It’s okay
Because it is the springtime of it
It’s okay
Because you are the sun who knows only darkness

It’s not a beginning
It’s a start
It’s okay
Because it was white and fulfulling

It’s okay
It’s only a dream
It’s okay
Everything is exactly as it seems.

You insist
Oh so I say
And I was there when it was small

And insignificant

And the bass was hollow and distant

And you didn’t think twice when I…
When I…

I suppose it was fate
To be where I was when I was
To be, to see, to smell the rain in the air
To touch it, to caress, to believe in you

And I suddenly believed
When your world collided with mine
Intense heat, radiation
Ate through the outer shell and dissolved the inner child

Aflutter, an agitated mess
Turmoil and silence entwine
Restrained, potential energy
Wide-eyed and vigilant

Stretching and groaning
Rays burst through
Pierced by screams
Crumple and fall

Silence interferes with thought
Ability interferes with creativity
Stab the brush through the carpals
Twist and break free

Me
Beautiful and me
So it is.
So it is said

Happy accidents and desire
Ignorance and despair
Dreams and failure
Quiet moments

I don’t know what you mean
I stopped and became
What I could not be
Me

And now I see it clearly
But not so much as to deny
I don the garb and seethe
And fear honesty like death

I am a deity
I presume
And death follows with him
I will not fucking do that

Singing of the last
I was the first to come
I became anger incarnate
I punch the indigent

Sorrow and remorse
I decide were overrated
The silver rained to the Muse
Suddenly we disappeared

I enjoyed it very much
Thank you
Now it is time to greet death.

A sigh and a sip
Off to the races!
Effervesce and coalesce
Stop the noise!

I went to the chamber
I fell on the sword
I gave in to my anger
I went back on my word

I fell victim to ignorance
I was to blame
I fell victim to cowardice
I wasn’t the same

As I was when I was
And I went into dark
I came out with a weapon
I came out with a spark

I do it for love
I do it for me
I do it for viciousness
I do it for greed