Goldfish crackers

You wouldn’t think that Pepperidge Farm Goldfish Crackers are amusing. But they are. When you’re smoking weed. In the woods. While camping.

“The snack that smiles back,” indeed.

Then we probably fucked or something, I don’t remember. But damn, those goldfish crackers had us laughing for what seemed like hours.

Seriously, though, that kid when I was in the second grade that had the first ginormous box of goldfish crackers I’d ever seen… that kid was a dick. He had a ColecoVision and it had the Journey game on it, but I didn’t care. He invited me to go to Chuck E. Cheese’s with him, I was already at his house, and I called my parents, and they green-lighted it (damn the bastards!) but I said I didn’t want to go. The kid got on my fucking nerves. Seriously. I wanted to kick him in the nuts, he was SO fucking annoying.

His family was rich, but I didn’t care. I couldn’t take another hour with this kid. So I said no. I remember they had this phone. This phone was all fancy-like, with a receiver that had a curled-over end for the mouthpiece and a regular side for the earpiece. It was white and gold. I couldn’t figure it out at first, I had never seen such a fucking pretentious phone before (this was just after the days where you could actually buy your own phone instead of using what was issued from the phone company).

The pizza flavored goldfish crackers are the bomb.