Five Sentence Fiction – Words

Five Sentence Fiction – Words

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The blare of the train whistle and the clickety-clack rumble drowned her voice. She glanced at the train and back at me, eyes wide and quivering. Her words fierce but impotent.

As I got up off of her, the earth opened and swallowed my shame. Now, deafening silence.

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Author’s notes

This sort of came out of a rejection of a romantic short story. I’ve done a few of those and I was yearning for a sci-fi / terror story. I actually re-wrote the first sentence several times, eventually settling for a reworked version that used “this then that” structure. You’ve only got so much real estate in these things so you’ve got to hook the reader right away; there’s no room for any confusion or re-reading.

Discussions

  1. Lisa Shambrook

    Consider me hooked…leaves me wondering what just happened and want to know more!

  2. Ang (@ang_writes)

    I second Lisa’s comment!

  3. A very dark piece, succinct. Like above, I want to read on! xx

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